I am not sure
If I did the right thing by sharing my thoughts with someone important today. Being honest and speaking up for myself is a necessary and scary part of maturing. 2016 is about honesty for me.
Supposedly, being honest
Is good. But why does it hurt so much and make me feel so vulnerable. Whenever I am myself with people important to me, I second-guess myself.
I think honesty is good, important even. I wish I was strong enough to feel fine after being really honest, but I actually feel drained, exposed, and unsure of everything I just said.
I think, I will grow from these experiences, saying how I feel. But-GOD-why does it have to feel so hard? Why do I feel like I am being mean and hurtful? I ask myself these questions.
I have decided that
my desire to please is not worth me losing my sense of self. I have decided to be the kind of person who can say the hard truth when it is necessary, because too often I see people suffer if I don’t.
I don’t know what is ahead. I cannot predict anything. But I have big dreams and I think 2016 will be about reaching some of those. And I will try to be honest with myself and those I love along the way.
1. Some really upsetting
Events have occurred in my extended family in the last 48 hours. I will not go into details. This has nothing to do with racism. In short, this family emergency has left me heartbroken. I have learned a deep, bloody, and painful lesson. I wrote this poem to explain…
BE CAREFUL WHO YOU HELP
A lyric poem by Lauren Brown
Be careful who you ’round yourself with. Do not bask in the company of idiots! The useless and neglectful wither what is not zealously kept. Destruction trails them closely.
Do not ’round yourself with unthinking people. Seek out generosity; and do likewise. Still, put not yourself at risk. Fail to rely on the willfully absentminded, the unevolving. Choose not the visionless, the unambitious, the already-satisfied. Do not save those who will not think. The thoughtless, the careless and neglectful, must surely drag you ‘neath their feckless state.
Be weary of those who demand time and pay nothing in return. The selfish are skillful at being blameless.
Be weary of vipers who appear harmless and dumb, slow and unbothered. They lie to you with eyes unblinking. When the wire is thinnest and it matters most, stay ‘sured. They will embody all that was advertised.
The useless are never harmless. True idiots are never loud. They are a friendly pestilence, and they obliterate what is not theirs to destroy.
Stay careful whom you pity, lest they throw you to hell before them. That road is a noxious and disillusioned place, where irony cuts deep and is unrelenting. Stay ‘sured. For in that hell, it is you alone who suffers.
Be careful who you help.
Á plus tard,
P.S. I am so upset. When I think of how they reacted to my loved one in pain, I am so angry. My heart hurts. I could never harm someone like that. I am so angry. God, help me :’-(
1. So much has
Changed since last year. I’ve definitely grown and shifted my focus. I’m really looking forward to the future. Since graduating from college (yay!) I have begun new work that fills me with immense joy. I couldn’t be more proud of my job. I cannot wait to change the world.
2. I am proud of
My family. I’m proud of the hard work we’ve put in over this past decade. Though I’ve had to keep it secret for so long, my family’s work has come to define me in the best ways. I’m proud to be a part of the family business. My creativity is still a part of me. It is very much a part of the work I do now. Is it normal to say that I’m in love with my job? ‘Cause, that’s literally how I feel!!
Also, Raif and Rose Book 2 is still on! I repeat, the Raif and Rose Series is still on!
I wish all of my readers clarity, purpose, and joy!
Á plus tard,
1. I saw the two
Pictures featured in this post on Pinterest the other day. Because I do not have a Pinterest account, I was forced to save these pictures to my hard drive. I wish I could remember the accounts where I found these. If you know, please tell me. I believe the first picture is from a catalogue while the second…
2. Is from someone’s
Personal style pin-board. I just love the simple, strong, casual, and classic look of these outfits. Classy and not trying too hard. Did I mention comfy? Also: I really love that red bag.
How’s your week going so far?
À plus tard,
1. If photos could destroy
Me, these would. Brook Shaden’s work hits me in my soft spot. My imagination. Her surrealist photography is so beautiful. The color, the contrast and texture. It’s like looking at a painting. These photos bring me back to my days as a six year old imagining impossible things. These photos make me want to create, to build another story.
2. I have so many
Stories I wish to tell. But first I must write Raif and Rose Book 2. What an insane adventure this book is. It’s taken me a lot longer to write than I thought. But it’s worth it. I’ve gone through so many iterations of the plot and things are finally coming together perfectly. I know this book will be worth the wait.
3. This photo is
My favorite. Followed closely by the first. This feels like a story. It evokes more than the tale of red riding hood. I wish I could explain it fully, but I can’t. It really gets to me. To see more of Shaden’s work, click here.
À plus tard,
1. You may or many not know
This, but I am a fan of modern style and design. One firm whose take on modern I find to be the perfect balance of style and comfort is Sawyer | Berson. Listed as one of Architectural Digest’s Top 100 Architects and Interior Designers, Sawyer | Berson, these guys certainly know what they’re doing!
2. Some day in the not-too-distant
Future, I will get a chance to see these guys in action as they build my dream home in Malibu or the Hamptons or something… (a girl can dream).
3. The kitchen below is so
Bright and lovely. Sigh…
3. The house above
Is one of the firm’s projects in the Hamptons. Double sigh… One day, this will be ours, everyone.
À plus tard,
1. It’s time to confess my sins.
I have been two-timing. I have been working on… (wait for iiiiit)… another… blog! *gasp!* I know, I know, the shame, the horror, the humanity!!!
2. Yes, I have been writing for another blog.
It is a travel blog called ‘The Digital Suitcase‘ it’s super cool and I’m with a great team! I joined at the start of this semester and am so excited to be working with everyone. It’s a project we are doing as university students (so it’s for a grade, but the topics are all chosen by us. Our blood, sweat, and tears are going into making TDS great.) So have a gander!
I will be posting there twice every week for the next few months! The post you see in the photo above is my first for the site!
3. Of course I will
Continue to update The LVDS. I actually have a few posts already planned! I hope all has been well with everyone! How are ya’ll doing?
À plus tard,